A plea for youth.

Dear AARP, please stop sending me coupons for hearing aids, the telephones with the giant numbers on them, the Hoveround, something else obscure that says "Having trouble WIPING?!". You've got the wrong idea.




Dear bartender, please card me. When you don't, you imply that I look at least 30 (according to the carding law). That's not nice.

Dear writers of the show "Cougartown", please don't make Courtney Cox's 40 year old character have the same life issues that I do. I watched one episode last night and it involved a 40 year old character who had a child in her early 20's and as a result never went out, had no friends, no life outside work, and was quite pathetic. That is me now. Not when I'm 40. And I'd like to add if you're going to broadcast that she's 40, please don't allow her to look like a lean, ripped, 98 lb adolescent.

Dear chocolate maker people, please develop the yummiest chocolate ever that is completely good for you in mass quantities. My gut would appreciate it.

Dear 8 year old boy at the grocery store. Don't ask me how old I am, and then when I respond say "That's it? You have a kid. I thought you were like 50."

Dear mom, please don't say "It sucks getting old, doesn't it?".

Dear butt, why are you getting FLATTER with age. Don't you know that having a big butt is in right now?

All of these things...plus more...are my pleas. Please respond in a kind manner and do what the heck I say. Thank you.

Love, Kara Marie.